Naked Evan Blog - Vancouver Pride Sunday

Vancouver Pride Sunday


For some reason I was wide awake by 7:30 despite not having got to bed until after 2:00 am. But that was a good thing because I kept quite busy until it was time to head to head out for the parade. Shower and breakfast were a must, of course. Then I checked my email. It's amazing how time flies just with those events.

Then I started getting ready for the parade. First I took two 3/4" Velcro disks (the 'hook' side) and sewed them to the corners of my crotch basically right above the central point where my leg starts. Yes, you read correctly--sewed to my skin! I had pondered various ideas for how to make this costume work for me and then I remembered reading a history book about a year ago which talked about how a few hundred years ago it was common for people to sew themselves into their underwear in the autumn and not remove it again until spring. The book made a point that it was not always just sewing the garments on by stitching the fabric together, but often they would sew directly into the skin. So on Thursday I gave it a try with just a needle by itself. And I discovered two amazing things.

The first discovery was that sewing into the top layers of skin doesn't hurt--not in the least! It looks creepy so I had to try and forget that it was skin I was sewing into, but it doesn't hurt at all. The second discovery was that skin is damn difficult to sew. Even though it was a rather thin bit of skin I was trying to push the needle through it felt more like pushing a needle through heavy leather. It's incredibly tough.

So Sunday morning, there I sat fighting to get a needle and threat through a tiny fold of my skin. One stitch for the disk attached to each side. And all that was left then was to grab the tiny bit of flimsy semi-translucent fabric and stick it to those disks. And I was done!

Of course then there were the other things, like covering myself in sunscreen. Even though it was totally overcast the weatherman was predicting sun for the afternoon and I wasn't taking any chances. Then I had to get together my stuff: camera, sheet of cardboard for a "seat" on the curb, flip-flops, baseball cap, etc. Finally I pulled on a tiny tank top and wrapped a bit of fabric around my waist cinching it shut with a safety pin. I'd bought that bit of fabric expressly for the situation: didn't plan to unveil my costume until closer to parade time.

I headed for the same spot I've left my bicycle the past two years but there was a police car parked directly beside the sign post I usually lock it to, so I asked the (VERY cute) officer if my bike would be in the way there. He said it would be just fine so I went about locking my helmet and flip-flops looped into my lock with my bicycle, then headed off down the street wearing my baseball cap tiny tank top, and what was sort of a mini-skirt that didn't close all the way down the side. Carrying a 6" tall 'gift bag' shopping bag from The Bay with my camera, etc. inside. I chuckled to myself as I walked along: I hadn't even started to undress yet and my attire was already attracting attention. About five or six people recognized me from previous years and asked, "Where's your costume?"

The parade starts at noon but I was settling into my chosen spot by 10:45. The route fills up quickly and I wanted to make sure I had a good spot right on the curb. Started chatting with two ladies sitting a couple paces down from me and time passed quickly. Shortly after 11:00 I asked them to watch my stuff while I headed two blocks away to the portable toilets. As I came out of them I decided it was time so slipped off my tank top and unfastened the safety pin. I really did feel like I was naked because my costume was so tiny and so light that it was like it wasn't even there.

Vancouver Pride Sunday costume
My attire for Vancouver Pride Sunday at the parade and the fare afterwards. This snapshot was late in the afternoon.

It really was like I wasn't wearing anything at all and I actually checked a couple of times to verify it was there because I couldn't feel anything. The comments started coming immediately, of course. A lot of the questions repeat themselves so I'm often ready with answers:

"What's holding that on?"

"Do you have anything under that?"
"Yes. A LOT!"
The second question was more rhetorical because with the fabric being semi-transparent it just took a good look to know that I wasn't wearing any kind of underwear or anything.

Time flew quickly and the parade soon started. Keep an eye on for me getting my photos and comments added there, though it'll no doubt take me several weeks to get it done.


wow, but know what you mean by really having to push a needle thru the skin, have used needles in several places, but never thought of doing what you did, must try that sometime. Hugs Bruce

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